Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just invented taco cereal.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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