Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
we're so committed to being not committed
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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