Swine flu. Run for my life!
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
