The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
