Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
