Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
