You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Say something about gay babies.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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