I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Randomize
