White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize