will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
