he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
