You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
