Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
