i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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