I wish you could order shots online.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
