I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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