The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
