What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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