If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
