i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
