Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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