i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
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