Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
