2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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