I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
