she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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