elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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