Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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