C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
