12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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