hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
