The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
