I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
