He asked me if I "almost moaned"
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
