He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
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