I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
