people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
