Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
