He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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