whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
