god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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