Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
