theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
