what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
