I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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