is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Pants are for mortals
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
