the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
