Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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