and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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