i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
