You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
