ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Less talking, more tequila
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
